Everything is as it's meant to be
One of the most common distractions from our authenticity is playing the victim. Perhaps we are not coping or we believe that something has happened to us. When this happens we tend to seek sympathy, looking for someone to say "poor me". Every time we become the victim of a situation we have become the follower of our own lives. Read Article: If your trying to lead, then your'e still following.
So is life happening to me or for me?
Living by the idea that things, situations and events keep happening to us, we fall into the victim trap, where we hide and say "well that wasn't me or my fault". This is the ultimate way to negate our responsibility by passing the blame. What people don't realise is that this is disempowering, as when we don't take ownership we hand the the power over to someone else. If we continue, as many do, we start limiting our decisions to avoid the responsibility of it "going bad" in the future. This is a key factor to creating imaginary fears.
Sometimes we feel that we have been hard done and only see a negative experience, rather than recognising how the universe might have nudged us (maybe it's a shove) to move us in a different direction that is more purposeful for our growth.
A major factor is that we aren't taught how to recognise what might be the end of a situation, relationship, business, career or community. In many instances we are taught the opposite which is communicated as a "failure", a failed relationship or failed business etc. So we go on believing that we must endure through, rather than question why is this happening with a curious attitude.
Everything is happening for us as much as we are happening to it.
By realising that life is our choice (everything is happening for us as much as we are happening to it), we automatically become responsible and begin to lead our own lives. In doing this we ultimately empower ourselves to learn from the choices we make. You would have heard the term "We learn from our mistakes", well this is only true if we accept that we are responsible for our decisions.
We also mostly define events as either positive or negative experiences. This polarised thinking prevents us seeing how the universe is shifting situations for our growth. We often dwell on how it has "gone bad", and therefore miss the opportunity.
Accepting that everything is happening for us
If we are able to accept that we aren't simply a pin ball being mercilessly shoved around in string of random events, we become witnesses to our lives in cohesion with the rest of the universe. We then see that we have a choice to respond to our environment in a purposeful way and make decisions that will truly see our personal growth flourish.