If you're trying to lead, you're still a follower
In a superficially connected world, people are fighting to have a voice. Whether it's in business or personally, across the globe people are looking to be seen and heard. This day and age, social media is a prime example of a platform which serves that exact superficial connection. One of the biggest notions is the strive to be a leader; in business, in the community and socially. This concept is competitive in nature and consumes most of society. If you are consistently in competition then you are more than likely saying to yourself "I am not enough right now". You may be potentially creating and feeding a great insecurity, which overtime will become larger and lead to what can be endless and overwhelming internal suffering.
In this statement,
'I want to be a leader', you're actually following.
You have to ask the question, why do I need people to follow me?
Fame, power, money and attention are all concepts derived from the ego. When we outwardly express ourselves continually, we are saying to the world, "this is who I am" and an identity is created. This identity is an image that boosts our self worth and confidence through others. In many instances our external image becomes a mask and we play it out like a role in a movie. The problem is that this role is controlled by an audience, where others have a heavy influence on the outcome.
So why does this happen? There is some kind of comfortability and connection for people who belong to a herd. When individuals start going against the herd they become ostracized and the one who strays ends up going back into focusing on the same as everyone else.
In this technologically connected world we couldn't be more disconnected from ourselves.
Jeannette creates a post on Instagram in her bikini one day, the next day another outfit, following day a picture with her on the beach and so on. People comment on her post messages something like "You look beautiful" or "You are amazing". After each post she checks to see how many likes she received and responds to the comments. She feels euphoric because of the comments so she continues to post and the cycle continues. More posts, more confident building messages, now Jeanette is building her confidence externally.
The problems created by building your self worth in this superficial way:
- When you build your self worth from outward expressions, you are only as good as what others think of you
- Building an outward image disconnects you from your authenticity
- Our outward appearance and identity is not who we are
- It creates an expectation that you constantly have to live up to
- There is little contribution to others and it's mostly self serving
How can you expect to lead anyone when you don't even know who you are?
The only person you need to lead is you
By going against the grain and searching inwards rather than outwards, you will discover who you truly are. If you understand yourself on every level, your emotions, the way you think (Read Article: Literal Vs. Lateral minds), feelings and behaviours eg. the way you react in situations, then over time you start to build your confidence from within.
The more internally aware you become, the more your self worth and confidence is developed from within. This is the key to living an independent life - you are less dependent on other people, your environment and materialistic things to make you feel worthy. Only then you can make the realisation that you actually don't need anything. You already have absolutely everything you need.
You begin to understand what self love means, rather than get entangled in a societal cycle of unhappiness and emptiness. You become the leader of your own life. Read Article: Success: Societies Illusion